Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
