is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
