please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
