Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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