we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
