Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
