): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
