just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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