you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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