I faked an abortion last night.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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