Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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