Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
