white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
