Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
