also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Come on in and take your pants off
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