He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
