U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
