After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
