but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
