But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
