I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
