I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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