hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
