To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
