Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
