Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
