I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
