I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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