I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she looked like the before picture.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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