I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
