My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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