Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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