Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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