I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
either way he was missing a nipple.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
