At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
