i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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