Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
