I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize