well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
