party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
