so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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