I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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