I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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