I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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