I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
