Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
