I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize