Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
