you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
