I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just pee around me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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