38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
