I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize