I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
