What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I want a musical about memes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
