awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
