Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
