She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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