She is in my trunk
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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