Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize