that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize