Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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